Part 6: Home and Family
The teenage years should be a time of enjoyment and personal growth. Dating, a boy taking a girl out for a pizza or a movie, should be a wonderful and a beautiful part of these times. Through dating one can enjoy many school functions to make memories for future years.
Dating aids personality growth when ideas and outlooks are exchanged. We learn how to assess different kinds of people. It can even be a good experience to meet your date's parents so you can see how other families live and work together.
Going steady, exclusively taking out one girl or going with only one boy, diminishes the values of dating. Both miss the personal enrichments from meeting and dealing with different people.
Dating can be safe and enjoyable. But everything must remain under control. Too often, especially when going exclusively with one partner, one or both might become overly attracted to the other. Under this pressure, personal control can be lost. Should this happen, things could grow too serious and he or she might want to explore a more intimate relationship.
Usually, but not always, it is the boy who begins to demand more. The boy’s reward in dating should be only the girl’s company. Even though he spends money for meals or other entertainment he should expect and ask no more than just that. The girl should never grow convinced that, because the boy has spent so much, she owes him more than only the time they are together.
Among some boys it has become a sport to see how often they can "score" with different girls. Dating a boy with this attitude is dangerous. It is especially risky if the girl feels insecure about future dates and, through fear, fulfills his demands. Boys who try to outscore their friends will quickly move-on to the next girl. Thus, either the girl's denial of his wishes or her yielding to his wishes will likely end the relationship. He will move on to the next girl to increase his "score."
Sexual intercourse between two unmarried people is said to be “sexually immoral.” The Bible names such action as sinful. First Corinthians, chapter 5, verses 9 through 11 (NIV) reads:
Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral neither idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor the thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.
These verses most certainly apply to dating that has become "sexually immoral."
But sometimes the most moral of intentions fade in the passion of the moment. Years ago there was a song named "Beware my Foolish Heart." Some of its words were:
There's
a line between love and fascination
Which is hard to see on an evening such as this.
Both
give the very same sensation
While lost in the magic of a kiss . . ..
This lesson cautions dating couples about the dangers of runaway passion. True love and "puppy” love are hard to tell apart. Puppy love is short-lived obsession. True love, however, endures the years, health or sicknesses, success or poverty.
Even though love may be real and mutual, a boy who respects his date will not dishonor her. But this is a two-way street; the girl should not tempt the boy through sensual dress or actions.
The couple should avoid places and times where passion might get out of hand. That is, they will not go to any private place, such as a parked car, and they will restrict their petting to light (and few) kisses.
To please God, sexual intercourse outside of marriage must be strictly avoided. But, it is also important to both the boy and the girl that they avoid the risks of pregnancy and STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases). There are diseases such as gonorrhea, syphilis and many others including the dreaded AIDs. So called "Safe Sex", as advertised today, is a lie.
There is only one way to have sex and not become exposed to the danger of pregnancy and that is through the surgical removal of one or the other's reproductive capability. This ends the possibility of pregnancy but does not remove the possibility of disease. The only way to protect against both pregnancy and disease is abstinence. This means no sexual intimacy during dating.
You have heard and might believe that "all the kids are doing it." Don't fool yourselves, ALL are NOT doing it!
Dating should be a time of joy and friendship. No chances should be taken for any date to become a tragedy through pregnancy or by getting a sexually transmitted disease.