Part 6: Home and Family
This lesson touches on the Biblical treatments of divorce. But it is really a look at divorce in modern America. Changes in American thinking during the last forty years will be briefly studied. We will also see how these have changed the American family.
American marriages predating the 1960’s were usually permanent until the death of one of the partners. Since then, divorce in the United States has grown from about nine in every 1,000 marriages up to about 500 per 1,000. This is the highest rate in any of today's advanced western societies. Once of small affect on our society, divorce has become a destructive force in the lives of men, women and, especially, children.
Since the sixties, the American people have an increased sense of "Big I, Little You." They feel a need for great personal" rights" and "fairness." This is selfishness and it has become a feature in many marriages. Because of this, many are not committed to their marriage.
The Bible discusses selfishness in the Book of Philippians, Chapter 2: Verses 3 through 5:
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Today, many men and women fail to give the time and energy needed to make their marriage work. They do not work out their conflicts. If the union fails to meet the hopes of either partner, so much for the marriage. Often little thought is given to the result of divorce on the children.
Family experts have said that the children of divorce heal quickly that the disintegration of their families just does not bother them very much. They said it was foolish to consider the impact of divorce on the children.
But children do become grief-stricken; they do feel bereaved and they do live with anger even though experts might say otherwise. Some experts recommend treating the child’s symptoms. This might make the children more manageable, but it is not a cure. Don't fool yourselves. Recent, well-qualified studies have proven that the children of broken homes carry heavy scars through their childhood and into adulthood. They are often trouble-bound, do less well in school and often do not make good employees. These children also have much greater risk of early, unmarried pregnancy and a higher failure rate in their own marriages. It has also recently been shown that adult children suffer emotionally when their parents divorce.
These facts make it very important to spend every effort to salvage troubled marriages before they become total failures. Are not the children of these marriages worth the efforts toward mutual compromise and renewed love? Do we know what love is?
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. I Corinthians, Chapter 13, Verses 4 through 7.
Do the adults desiring divorce love their children? Have they fallen for the propaganda of modern social reformers and counselors or to their own selfishness?
Adults, aware of the damages to the children and also to the other partner, should rethink their desires for divorce. First Timothy, Chapter 5, Verse 8 tells about those who neglect their responsibilities:
If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
Not the least of today's crimes toward family and God is the breaking of the promises made to each other before God, to "Love, honor and obey 'til death do us part."
Obviously, when a mate is violent or abuses the children, a quick response through Christian counseling or legal action is needed. God hates divorce, but permits it when one or both partners engage in adultery.