Part 5: Christian Living
Grudge holding is done so often that it seems to be a natural part of the human make up.
Many who hold grudges also desire revenge for real or imagined wrongs. But, can Christians hold grudges or desire revenge for even real wrongs? We can get to the very heart of this matter by reading Matthew, Chapter 6, Verses 14 and 15:
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
This scripture causes us to ask two questions:
(1)
What if they again sin or repeat the sin that you have forgiven?
(2)
What if they don't ask for forgiveness?
Question 2 is answered first since it is the more simple answer: Find the scripture that tells that you must forgive a sin against you only when the one who did the wrong asks for forgiveness. One does not exist.
Question 1, about repeat offenses, is a little more difficult to answer. Here if one frequently borrows and never returns what has been borrowed from you, how do you handle this problem? This question is NOT answered by:
"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."
The scriptural answer to this question is found in Matthew, Chapter 18, Verses 21 and 22:
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
In scripture, the number seventy-seven is not interpreted as the exact mathematical count of seventy-seven. It means many, many times. But are we to allow another to do us wrong for a great number of times? Not likely for there is another scripture, Galatians, Chapter 6, Verse 10, which reads that we are to do good to all men, especially to those of the household of faith.
This scripture, when applied to repeated wrongs by another, requires careful judgment. How often do we forgive a wrong against us and still allow them to repeat that wrong? We are equipped with a Christian conscience that we are to use in judging when we are helping or harming the repeat offender. It is possible to help one so much that they grow dependent. They fail to rely on themselves with the danger that they will become more dependent on others and more helpless. Forgive them, but do not allow your forgiveness to become a crutch for the one who does you wrong.
There is now much medical evidence suggesting that grudge keepers suffer emotional and physical harm when many grudges are carried for long periods of time. But, more so, if one is to be acceptable to God it is needful that one forgives others.