Part 6: Home and Family
The duties of the husband in the home are clearly defined in God's Word, the Holy Bible. In the Book of Ephesians, Chapter 5, Verses 25 through 33:
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church--for we are members of his body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church. However each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
We cannot completely deal with the obligations of the husband in our limited space. But please note the scripture references and then consider them carefully. Some scriptures that deal with the husband as the head of the house follow.
Genesis, Chapter 3, Verse 16 says, in part, that the woman 's desire shall be to man.
Ephesians Chapter 5, Verse 23 tells us that the husband is the head of the wife.
First Timothy, Chapter 2, Verses 11 and 12 states that a woman shall have no dominion over a man.
These verses and others tell that husband is to be MORE than the head of the house. Here, the word head does not define a master-slave relationship, nor does it mean a relationship like that of a Military Officer over a common soldier. It is more like a partnership where decisions are made by the husband only after careful, prayerful reasoning to reach a compromise. While the husband is the leader, guide and director there are very few decisions the husband should make without counsel with his wife. He should consider her wishes.
The husband is to love his wife above all other human beings. Consider the passages from Ephesians that you heard a moment ago. In addition, Colossians, Chapter 3, Verse 19 reads:
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
The husband is to be thoughtful and tender. He must cherish his wife. She is to be treated with kindness and affection. Love must be fed through warmth and tenderness. The husband should often tell the wife of his great love for her. He should make known his love for her socially, mentally, verbally and physically. If affection and consideration are shown only during sexual intimacy, the wife might get the idea that she is merely a sex object.
The Book of First Peter, Chapter 3, Verse 7 teaches that the husband is to treat his wife with respect and this involves courtesy, consideration and emotional support. Husbands will never hold their wives up for ridicule in public by making cutting remarks. Husbands are human and are not perfect thus he cannot expect her to be perfect. Ephesians, Chapter 4, Verse 32 teaches that Christians are to forgive each other. It is, therefore, proper that husbands forgive their wives of mistakes or short comings. Always control your temper, restrain a sharp tongue and never use physical violence.
First Timothy, Chapter 5, Verse 8 reads:
If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
It is the duty of husbands to provide food, shelter, clothing and medical care for his family.
Another of the husband's responsibilities is to help discipline and rear the children. This discipline should be with love. The Book of Ephesians, Chapter 6, Verse 4 says:
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
The children, then, are to be the objects of loving discipline, making sure that schools are challenging and teaching as they should. In our modern era this might indicate home schooling or a private school. This includes, also, teaching the children to be helpful around the house and about managing their own finances.
The Christian father, above all, should be an example to his family as he earns a living and fulfills his role as head of the family.