Part 7: Today's Questions and Problems
The subject of marriage, divorce and remarriage has shattered many congregations of the Lord’s people and has discouraged many from accepting the Words of Jesus Christ.
Congregations differ on how to handle this issue. Some never question the marriage-divorce status of prospective converts or of members wishing to relocate. Others question both very closely before approving baptism or accepting a moved membership.
We know that God dislikes divorce intently. Our Lord has given strict laws concerning remarriage after a divorce. In Matthew, Chapter 19, Verses 3 through 9 we find that some Pharisees once came to Jesus to test him.
They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"
"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator `made them male and female,' and said, `For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
"Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?"
Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."
In Romans, Chapter 7, Verses 1—3, the apostle amplifies the above:
“Do you not know, brothers--for I am speaking to men who know the law--that the law has authority over a man only as long as he lives? For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. So then, if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress, even though she marries another man.”
Clearly, God hates adultery in an individual both before and after conversion to Christ. Baptism does not, in God’s eyes, make lawful an unscriptural divorce. But is the church to handle this problem in either of the two ways outlined at the start of this message? There is another way!
There is no record in the entire New Testament that any potential convert was ever questioned about his marriage or divorce status before baptism. On the day the church began some 3,000 Jews were baptized. These had lived according to Jewish custom and, almost certainly, many of them had divorced their mates “because of the hardness of their hearts.” Yet there is no mention that the apostles denied baptism to any prospect.
Later, however, the situation was quite different:
Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the of God . And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. 1 Corinthians, Chapter 6, Verses 9-11.
Here, Paul makes it perfectly clear that adulterers will not inherit the Kingdom of God. But it was unlikely that they had been instructed to correct these sins before being baptized. More likely it was the love of the brethren who provided a more perfect uplifting and patient instruction in the Way. Paul wrote to Titus telling him to:
“. . . teach what is in accord with sound doctrine. Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance. Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.” Titus, Chapter 2, Verses 1 through 8.
In short, it is up to loving brethren to teach the new converts about the law and love of the Lord. Once they know what they should do, it is up to them. Do they love the Lord enough to do what is right?
If, after being taught by loving brethren about their sins of adultery they do not correct their status, it then becomes a matter of church discipline.
But, do we, ourselves, know what love is—love strong enough to teach erring brethren?
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. I Corinthians, Chapter 13, Verses 4 through 7.